Java Programming Jokes That Are Actually Funny. Seriously, I Promise

java jokes bannerAs intense and as complex as learning Java is, there are some moments in life where we all need to sit down and have a hearty laugh. And the concept that programmers are boring, and lack a sense of humour is definitely not true! Just look at the history of java programming, there’s plenty of hilarious moments.

Let’s discover another side of programming where there is always a place for a good laugh. In fact, here are our top 5 java programming jokes that we find utterly hilarious. And that will definitely have you looking at Java on a lighter note!

The Frog

best java programming jokesA young man was walking along in the forest when he heard a muffled voice crying for help from behind a log.  He leaned over to see a frog sitting in the mud. The frog looked up at him and said, “I’m actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I’ll transform back into my true self, and be yours for eternity.” Silently, the man scooped up the frog and continued on his walk.

A minute or two later, the frog piped up again, “Hey, buddy, maybe you didn’t hear me — I said, if you kiss me, I’ll turn into a princess. What are you waiting for? “Annoyed, the man stuffed the frog into his coat pocket. Shocked, the frog yelled from inside the man’s pocket, “What the hell?  I’m a princess!  All you have to do is kiss me!” Opening his pocket and peering in, the man said, “Listen — I’m a software engineer.  I don’t have time for a girlfriend.  But a talking frog is kind of cool.”

The Train

*One of the funniest programming jokes around!

top computer programming jokesA young programmer and his project manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”

The project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!” The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!” The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his project manager all at the same time!”

The Bike

funny programming jokesA computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.

Taking a bite at your rival

pythonMe: “[Company] tech support, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’ve got a problem. Your program is telling me to get a pet snake. I don’t want one.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “It’s giving me a message telling me I need a snake to run it.”

Me: “Read the message to me please.”

Caller: “Error: Python required to run script.”

Adolescence

GeekJava programming is like teenage sex…

Everyone talks about it all of the time (but they don’t really know what they’re talking about);

Everyone claims to be doing it;

Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it;

Those few who are actually doing it:

Are not practicing it safely;

Are doing it poorly, and

Are sure it will be better next time.

We bet you’re bent over laughing out loud right now! We just thought it best to give you one rib-cracking moment as you continue with your ambitions as a future programmer. Need some help with the first step and someone to “do my java homework“? Check out what we’ve got for you then!

Feel free to share these computer programming jokes to your friends especially when they feel blue about a coding assignment. Remember, laughter is the best form of medicine!